It’s so difficult to watch someone you love need some extra help and to have them refuse it. You might want to just help anyway, but you might be surprised at the reaction you get if you go that route. There may be some other tactics to try first.
Listen to What She Has to Say
When you and your senior are at odds about something, you might not realize how little you’re really listening to what she’s saying. You may be hearing her say no to your ideas, but the reasons may not be filtering through. It’s also really easy to get frustrated because she’s shooting down something that you know she needs. Take a deep breath and listen to what she’s saying and what she’s leaving unsaid. All of it is important.
Outline Some Benefits
List out some of the reasons that you know help would be great for her. You don’t have to give her an exhaustive list, but sometimes hearing reasons can be helpful for your senior. Some of the reasons for helping her or for finding other sources of help might even factor into some of the things she’s already told you. If you can solve some of her known issues, that’s going to be a plus.
See if She’s Interested in Having Someone Else Help
You might have been offering your own help pretty heavily and that’s what your senior has been shooting down. Another idea might be to offer to bring in someone else to help out. Sometimes having senior care providers helping is a lot less intimidating for someone. It can also make your senior feel like a burden if you’re the one helping her. Feelings are complicated and they don’t always make a lot of sense.
Let it Go and Come Back to It
Remember you can’t force things with your senior just because you want to or because you feel as if you know best. If she’s determined that she doesn’t want help from you or from anybody else, you may have to let it go for now. That doesn’t mean that the topic is closed forever, though. You can always revisit the idea down the road when circumstances change again.
Help can be a tricky thing for some people to accept. You don’t mean for there to be any strings, but you may still have to let the situation play out for your senior.