When you and someone you care about are around each other constantly, you might find that you’re suddenly having a lot of disagreements. These might be minor beefs over insignificant issues or they might be larger arguments about big concerns. Whatever is going on, you need to regroup and get an idea what’s really going on.
Where Are You Headed, Ultimately?
What has to happen for your senior to have the best care possible? You likely have goals, as does she. Get clear about what each of your goals are so that you can compare them appropriately. You might find that you’re actually trying to get to the same place, but having a tough time agreeing on how to get there. Clarifying goals is going to help you to see whether you’re on the same page or not.
Is What’s Happening Now Going to Get You Where You Want to Be?
What all is going on right now? Is your senior’s health worsening or is she finding that she needs more help than she expected to need at this point? All of these issues can be getting in the way of both of you meeting your goals. Bringing in additional help from homecare providers might be a solution that works and that gets you closer to those goals you refined earlier.
How Badly Do You Want to Be Right?
At some point you have to ask yourself how important it is for you to be the one that’s right in this conflict. You might well be right, but that might not matter as much as you might believe. If you and your senior are heading in the right direction, it might be better overall for you to just nod and smile. It isn’t easy, but it can reduce the fighting.
Take Time for You
Another way that bringing in homecare providers helps is that you’re able to take time away to recuperate. Often the stress of caregiving is such that you’re more likely to be at odds with your elderly family member, even when you really aren’t upset with each other. Take the time that you need and come back to caregiving refreshed.
Arguments happen, even with the people you love. What matters is how you handle them and whether they’re related to something that truly does need to change. Try to keep an open mind and make sure that you’re taking care of both of you.